Post-Potter Depression Disorder

I couldn't stop grinning when I heard Harry Potter music--and you know the dum da dum da DUM DUM dum dada dum da dum tune I'm referencing--floating towards me, as I  walked through the gates of the Wizarding World at Universal. A Butterbeer cart was off to my right, ten people already lined up to buy the butterscotch-flavored, thirst-quenching slush. I saw a teen girl walk by with a red lightning bolt penned in ink on her forehead. Click, click, click. I kept taking pictures left and right, and couldn't take my eyes off of the Hogwarts Castle straight ahead. It almost looked fake, like a painted backdrop to some stage production, that if I reach out just a bit, I could run my finger down the stone walls and the checkered-glass roof of the greenhouse. 

Wait. Wait. Did I say "I walked through the gates..."? I'm sorry, it was more like "I huffed and puffed, my face three shades of maroon, through the gates of the Wizarding World, sweat already beading on my forehead, my leg muscles feeling it from the power-walk we did from the entrance. And a black t-shirt?! What gave me the amazing idea to wear a black t-shirt in 80 degree weather, with jeans?!" That was a more accurate description of my entrance into Harry Potter heaven. Want to realize how overweight you are in a quick way? Speed-walk from the parking garage, to the gates of Universal, all the way through Dr. Seuss land, to the back of the park where the magic happens! You'll be using that map for a fan in no time. 

So, I have a humiliating confession to make. An eye-opening, raw and embarrassing, life-altering confession. And I debated sharing this with you, at this moment, I was going to wait until I was far along in the weight loss process to admit it, because I'm so mortified, but I think if I do it now, and get it over with like a band-aid being ripped off, I'll be a stronger person in the long run. So let's be completely honest. And please don't judge--that's not what this blog is about.

My raw, teary-eyed, suck-it-up-humiliating confession?...I didn't fit on the castle ride. The castle ride. Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. The Harry Potter ride. My dream ride. In 25 seconds, my entire hopes for the trip were crushed into a thousand self-depreciating pieces. I tried the test seat outside of the castle, thank god I didn't actually try to get on the ride, but still. Heart-crushing, feel-like-shit moment of the decade. But definitely a turning point. As Khrystyna, Aunt Dee, and Tammy parted ways with me inside the castle, I gulped down a few threatening tears (I hadn't cried at this point but I could feel water in my throat) and something steeled inside of me. 

Is this really what I want my life to be like? I'm 23, and can't get on the freaking Harry Potter ride. No. This is not how I want my life to be. I don't want it filled with worries of fitting places, or of looking terrible in that shirt, or yanking on my shirt constantly because I think it's too short when in reality it could probably skim my knees (okay, small exaggeration but you get the point). I deserve better than that for myself. I deserve to be the girl who can feel comfortable in shorts during the summer, and the girl who can walk from here to there without getting out of breath. I deserve to be happy. And I'm not, not this way. Not waiting for people to get off the ride of my dreams, not standing with the other miserable people who weren't fit to ride (This one woman was so bitchy, I wanted to slap her.) Not cropping pictures so that a slab of arm doesn't take up half the photo, No. 

So that was my turning point. My breaking point. I'm done. And this is it, and this is me now. All I can do is push forward, be positive, know what I want and go for it. Nothing is standing in my way anymore, especially not myself. As someone told me a few weeks ago, "I'm a Stamm. When a Stamm makes up his/her mind, that's it, end of discussion. You just haven't made up your mind yet obviously." Well, now I have. (You know who you are, you who told me that, and I thank you very much for your kinds words and always believing in me!) 

In more uplifting and happy news, my mom lost about 15 pounds so far! I'm so proud of her! She's so excited, I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. I only wish she'd realize what a beautiful person she is, both inside and out!! 

And I apologize to Elysia, who must have been going through withdrawal without a post to read in the past week. 

Why, Hello There 2013

I know, I know I had said that the next post title would be "The S Word" (Support), but I wanted to do a post about New Years Eve first. My household always hosts New Years, a night spent mostly by playing games and eating tons of food (I challenge you to think of a holiday that isn't centered around eating).

So, I decided to dust off the Hungry Girl cookbooks, and go digging for guilt-free recipes. If you've never heard of Hungry Girl, she's amazing. She takes fattening favorites and twists them into a healthier solution. For example, she has a recipe for Boneless Buffalo Wings that calls for seasoned Fiber One cereal, and as weird as that sounds, the end result is spectacular, and tastes just like the Applebees' Boneless Wings everyone loves, with a third of the calories! That recipe can be found here, and there is also a step-by-step video. If you'd like to see more recipes and maybe order a cookbook or two, visit her website. (If you haven't noticed, I just recently discovered the value of links haha)

I ended up making the Taco Dip and Buffalo Chicken Dip. Both can be served with veggies, but I just served them with tortilla chips. I found the Skinny Taco Dip recipe on Pinterest (that website consumes your life, don't ever get an account, trust me, you'll lose yourself) and the Buff Chicken Dip came from Hungry Girl. Both were crowd pleasers--actually, I'm pretty sure my sister ate half of the BCD herself, it's one of those things that can't be in front of you, it's that gooood.

This is a picture of my orange and spicy masterpiece:

For a 1/4 cup of this recipe, it's only 68 calories, and it tastes awesome with carrots and celery, as well as chips if you'd like to splurge a bit. Now, I was hesitant at first because it calls for canned chicken (similar to Tuna) and also Greek yogurt. Trust me, and just go for it. Everyone who likes spicy food loved it, and it's not overbearingly hot either. It was gone before 10:30.













This is a pic of my Skinny Taco Dip perfection:

Now, the recipe calls for olives and tomatoes, but I hate both with a passion, so I didn't add them. It also calls for one cup of shredded reduced-fat Cheddar Cheese, and I died laughing after reading that because it was literally *this* much cheese. So, I added about half more of the bag, because let's face it, cheese makes the world go round. It really does. But this recipe tastes just as good as any other full-fat Taco Dip, but only costs you about 60 calories per serving. It was practically gone before the ball dropped. Definite winner.









Winner of the Best New Years Eve 2012 Moment: My cousin Lisa. I had just poured myself a cup of Diet Icy Tea (Clover Farms trumps all) and ice, and came back into the dining room, only to hear Lisa go, "Kayla! I thought you said on your blog that you were doing all water this week!" and I was like "Yeah, well one drink on New Years--" and she goes, "But your blog said 'even on New Years especially' or something like that" and at this point, the entire room chimed in, so I gave my tea to my sister, and went back out and got water with lemon. (No one tested it for Vodka....just kidding, for those of you who don't know, I don't really drink, so that'll never be an issue). But anyway. That moment describes perfectly why I started this blog in the first place. To hold myself accountable to other people and not just myself. To have others watching out for me, to hold me at an expectation that I now have to rise up and meet.

When I write my next post, I'll be in Orlando! Harry Potter World! Excitement! I need to at least allow myself one frozen Butterbeer in the park, but just because it's vacation, doesn't mean that I have to go on a food-frenzy. I'm there to enjoy myself, to walk a lot, to laugh with Aunt Dee, Tammy, and Khrystyna, play games, see the Hogwarts castle, hopefully take a picture with a Despicable Me minion ("Whaaaaat?")...I'm not there to eat a bag of chips back at the timeshare while we watch a movie, or eat something fried by Splash Mountain.

Feel free to comment below or email me at ksta729@yahoo.com! Thanks so much for tuning in, I'll probably be posting once or twice a week. I'll get around to the Support-themed post shortly. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and stick to those resolutions!

The M Word

This post is solely dedicated to my main motivators! Complete with pictures and captions for your enjoyment :)

When I initially joined Weight Watchers in May '11, I didn't do it alone. Dad signed up with me, and unlike me, he never once looked back. He proceeded to go the next 8 months without going off program at all--that's right, not one time did he even have a single french fry or splurge on ice cream (or in his case, his Peanut Butter Smidgeons from the mall). Now, a year and a half later, he's still floating around 100 pounds down, running like a mad man, training for and competing in 5ks, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I couldn't be more proud of him! Even now, sometimes when I look at him, I still can't believe how he took control of his life and changed it permanently for the better. I'm determined to get to that same point someday. Here are some bragging pics :)

April 2011----->October 2011----->October 2012

And because I'm just such a cruel daughter, here is his halloween costume from this year, love you Dad! You look so skinny in this dress:

Halloween 2012

Next up on the list is the beautiful Miss Khrystyna! This girl is so determined, has more confidence in herself than anyone I know, and actually originally decided to lose weight based off of my success last year. I'm super, super proud of her, and now she's absolutely paying it forward by motivating me to get back on track! She has lost about 80 pounds since this past January. She looks phenomenal:

 January 2011----------------->Fall 2012

We don't have many "before" pictures together, this is as close as it gets:

This was taken probably Marchish 2011, and I believe the both of us are thinking "Um, why do we look like this? I don't know, but let's laugh about it!" lol. Oh, and that's our friend Molly! She's cray cray too.










Next up is my most recent motivator, my awesome cousin Miguel. He's actually like a brother to me, and recently he became addicted to the gym and getting fit, and you can definitely tell! Last I checked, he dropped about 40 pounds, and I'm so proud of him! I want to be that determined, and as someone that's lazy about working out, even having a sliver of his fitness mindset would do me wonders. He's amazing!

Oh, and cut off in the picture to the right is my Aunt Dawn. I mentioned her in my previous post "Why is it "The Chubby Couch?..."She also loves working out, and has turned me away from Cold Stone right into the arms of Yogo Crazy, which I guess, at the end of the day is a significantly better swap (if you don't include so many brownie bites and cookie dough clusters). Anyways, look how handsome he is! Love that kid.










And finally, my last motivator is...drum roll please.....ME. At the end of the day, I can ask these people for advice, and drop my mouth open in shock about how amazing they look, and I'm sure as you read this post, you did something similar when you saw some of these pictures--quite honestly, you're not human if you didn't--but at the end of the day, I'm the one choosing when to pick up a fork, or go for that 30-minute walk, or skip going out to eat to avoid temptation. It's me who has to make the choice to better her life; no one can do it for me. I'm determined to get back to how genuinely happy I look in this picture:

So, as a final thought, I'm going to set weekly challenges for myself, both a weight loss challenge, and a personal one, posted on here every Sunday. This week's challenge is to drink nothing but water, and that includes on New Years Eve. Bring it on. And my personal challenge is to write another chapter of my book (for those of you who don't know, I'm currently working on my first novel for young adults, excitement!) I'll report back next week about how I did/or did not meet those goals. Have a Happy New Year and thanks for reading! :)

Next post title: "The S Word" (The M Word obviously stood for Motivation, you can figure out what the S means)

Why is it called "The Chubby Couch" and not "The Confessions of a Fat Girl"?

Well, in order to answer that question, maybe I should tell you why I created a blog in the first place. Don't worry, I'll be quick about it. I know you're probably in a hurry to get to work, down some coffee, update Facebook, or maybe text while you drive. Don't lie, you've done it.

Anyway, after losing about 60 pounds from May '11 to December '11, and then spending all of 2012 gaining over half of it back, I figured it was time to buckle down and do something again. Obviously, something didn't stick the first time. Lack of motivation? Laziness? No self-confidence? I don't exactly know the answer. I'm hoping by blogging about my weight loss adventures, I'll figure a few things out about myself. Maybe no one is reading this, but if you are, I hope to motivate you to be the best person you can be as well. And of course, to make you laugh your ass off a few times. Well, let's hope at least.

So why "The Chubby Couch"? Why not something overdone like "Confessions of a Fat Girl", or the generic "A Weight Loss Memoir by Kayla Stamm"? It's all thanks to my aunt. You see, in our spare time, we talk about people. Come on, don't judge, who doesn't talk about people for fun? Well, one night we were actually talking about me and my weight loss (or lack thereof) issues, and she goes "You just need...a couch for chubbies!" (Which is the nicer way of kind of saying, "Girl, you got some serious issues a professional with a SOFA for you to LIE ON needs to sort out") However, it became our inside joke, and now, months later, months after I didn't get my couch for chubbies, here I am, creating my own space, and inventing a weight loss therapy method.

What is this gonna be like? I have no clue. Most likely a collection of moments, quotes, inspirations, motivations, pictures--all of the cliche crap attached to a blog like this. But I also hope to learn about myself and to motivate others that it's never too late or too early to change yourself for the better.

And why in the hell would I start this two days before New Years Eve, one of the biggest food and drinking days of the year? Because there will always be an excuse for why you shouldn't do something positive for yourself. Always. Holidays won't wait for you to change your life; they will always be here along with a thousand other obstacles standing in your way. It's my own ability to throw those excuses away that will ultimately define who I am. And I'm starting with this one.

If you're reading this line right now, YAY I have readers! Well, at least one :) Thank you!