Wait. Wait. Did I say "I walked through the gates..."? I'm sorry, it was more like "I huffed and puffed, my face three shades of maroon, through the gates of the Wizarding World, sweat already beading on my forehead, my leg muscles feeling it from the power-walk we did from the entrance. And a black t-shirt?! What gave me the amazing idea to wear a black t-shirt in 80 degree weather, with jeans?!" That was a more accurate description of my entrance into Harry Potter heaven. Want to realize how overweight you are in a quick way? Speed-walk from the parking garage, to the gates of Universal, all the way through Dr. Seuss land, to the back of the park where the magic happens! You'll be using that map for a fan in no time.
So, I have a humiliating confession to make. An eye-opening, raw and embarrassing, life-altering confession. And I debated sharing this with you, at this moment, I was going to wait until I was far along in the weight loss process to admit it, because I'm so mortified, but I think if I do it now, and get it over with like a band-aid being ripped off, I'll be a stronger person in the long run. So let's be completely honest. And please don't judge--that's not what this blog is about.
My raw, teary-eyed, suck-it-up-humiliating confession?...I didn't fit on the castle ride. The castle ride. Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. The Harry Potter ride. My dream ride. In 25 seconds, my entire hopes for the trip were crushed into a thousand self-depreciating pieces. I tried the test seat outside of the castle, thank god I didn't actually try to get on the ride, but still. Heart-crushing, feel-like-shit moment of the decade. But definitely a turning point. As Khrystyna, Aunt Dee, and Tammy parted ways with me inside the castle, I gulped down a few threatening tears (I hadn't cried at this point but I could feel water in my throat) and something steeled inside of me.
Is this really what I want my life to be like? I'm 23, and can't get on the freaking Harry Potter ride. No. This is not how I want my life to be. I don't want it filled with worries of fitting places, or of looking terrible in that shirt, or yanking on my shirt constantly because I think it's too short when in reality it could probably skim my knees (okay, small exaggeration but you get the point). I deserve better than that for myself. I deserve to be the girl who can feel comfortable in shorts during the summer, and the girl who can walk from here to there without getting out of breath. I deserve to be happy. And I'm not, not this way. Not waiting for people to get off the ride of my dreams, not standing with the other miserable people who weren't fit to ride (This one woman was so bitchy, I wanted to slap her.) Not cropping pictures so that a slab of arm doesn't take up half the photo, No.
So that was my turning point. My breaking point. I'm done. And this is it, and this is me now. All I can do is push forward, be positive, know what I want and go for it. Nothing is standing in my way anymore, especially not myself. As someone told me a few weeks ago, "I'm a Stamm. When a Stamm makes up his/her mind, that's it, end of discussion. You just haven't made up your mind yet obviously." Well, now I have. (You know who you are, you who told me that, and I thank you very much for your kinds words and always believing in me!)
In more uplifting and happy news, my mom lost about 15 pounds so far! I'm so proud of her! She's so excited, I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. I only wish she'd realize what a beautiful person she is, both inside and out!!
And I apologize to Elysia, who must have been going through withdrawal without a post to read in the past week.
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