Post-Potter Depression Disorder

I couldn't stop grinning when I heard Harry Potter music--and you know the dum da dum da DUM DUM dum dada dum da dum tune I'm referencing--floating towards me, as I  walked through the gates of the Wizarding World at Universal. A Butterbeer cart was off to my right, ten people already lined up to buy the butterscotch-flavored, thirst-quenching slush. I saw a teen girl walk by with a red lightning bolt penned in ink on her forehead. Click, click, click. I kept taking pictures left and right, and couldn't take my eyes off of the Hogwarts Castle straight ahead. It almost looked fake, like a painted backdrop to some stage production, that if I reach out just a bit, I could run my finger down the stone walls and the checkered-glass roof of the greenhouse. 

Wait. Wait. Did I say "I walked through the gates..."? I'm sorry, it was more like "I huffed and puffed, my face three shades of maroon, through the gates of the Wizarding World, sweat already beading on my forehead, my leg muscles feeling it from the power-walk we did from the entrance. And a black t-shirt?! What gave me the amazing idea to wear a black t-shirt in 80 degree weather, with jeans?!" That was a more accurate description of my entrance into Harry Potter heaven. Want to realize how overweight you are in a quick way? Speed-walk from the parking garage, to the gates of Universal, all the way through Dr. Seuss land, to the back of the park where the magic happens! You'll be using that map for a fan in no time. 

So, I have a humiliating confession to make. An eye-opening, raw and embarrassing, life-altering confession. And I debated sharing this with you, at this moment, I was going to wait until I was far along in the weight loss process to admit it, because I'm so mortified, but I think if I do it now, and get it over with like a band-aid being ripped off, I'll be a stronger person in the long run. So let's be completely honest. And please don't judge--that's not what this blog is about.

My raw, teary-eyed, suck-it-up-humiliating confession?...I didn't fit on the castle ride. The castle ride. Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. The Harry Potter ride. My dream ride. In 25 seconds, my entire hopes for the trip were crushed into a thousand self-depreciating pieces. I tried the test seat outside of the castle, thank god I didn't actually try to get on the ride, but still. Heart-crushing, feel-like-shit moment of the decade. But definitely a turning point. As Khrystyna, Aunt Dee, and Tammy parted ways with me inside the castle, I gulped down a few threatening tears (I hadn't cried at this point but I could feel water in my throat) and something steeled inside of me. 

Is this really what I want my life to be like? I'm 23, and can't get on the freaking Harry Potter ride. No. This is not how I want my life to be. I don't want it filled with worries of fitting places, or of looking terrible in that shirt, or yanking on my shirt constantly because I think it's too short when in reality it could probably skim my knees (okay, small exaggeration but you get the point). I deserve better than that for myself. I deserve to be the girl who can feel comfortable in shorts during the summer, and the girl who can walk from here to there without getting out of breath. I deserve to be happy. And I'm not, not this way. Not waiting for people to get off the ride of my dreams, not standing with the other miserable people who weren't fit to ride (This one woman was so bitchy, I wanted to slap her.) Not cropping pictures so that a slab of arm doesn't take up half the photo, No. 

So that was my turning point. My breaking point. I'm done. And this is it, and this is me now. All I can do is push forward, be positive, know what I want and go for it. Nothing is standing in my way anymore, especially not myself. As someone told me a few weeks ago, "I'm a Stamm. When a Stamm makes up his/her mind, that's it, end of discussion. You just haven't made up your mind yet obviously." Well, now I have. (You know who you are, you who told me that, and I thank you very much for your kinds words and always believing in me!) 

In more uplifting and happy news, my mom lost about 15 pounds so far! I'm so proud of her! She's so excited, I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. I only wish she'd realize what a beautiful person she is, both inside and out!! 

And I apologize to Elysia, who must have been going through withdrawal without a post to read in the past week. 

Why, Hello There 2013

I know, I know I had said that the next post title would be "The S Word" (Support), but I wanted to do a post about New Years Eve first. My household always hosts New Years, a night spent mostly by playing games and eating tons of food (I challenge you to think of a holiday that isn't centered around eating).

So, I decided to dust off the Hungry Girl cookbooks, and go digging for guilt-free recipes. If you've never heard of Hungry Girl, she's amazing. She takes fattening favorites and twists them into a healthier solution. For example, she has a recipe for Boneless Buffalo Wings that calls for seasoned Fiber One cereal, and as weird as that sounds, the end result is spectacular, and tastes just like the Applebees' Boneless Wings everyone loves, with a third of the calories! That recipe can be found here, and there is also a step-by-step video. If you'd like to see more recipes and maybe order a cookbook or two, visit her website. (If you haven't noticed, I just recently discovered the value of links haha)

I ended up making the Taco Dip and Buffalo Chicken Dip. Both can be served with veggies, but I just served them with tortilla chips. I found the Skinny Taco Dip recipe on Pinterest (that website consumes your life, don't ever get an account, trust me, you'll lose yourself) and the Buff Chicken Dip came from Hungry Girl. Both were crowd pleasers--actually, I'm pretty sure my sister ate half of the BCD herself, it's one of those things that can't be in front of you, it's that gooood.

This is a picture of my orange and spicy masterpiece:

For a 1/4 cup of this recipe, it's only 68 calories, and it tastes awesome with carrots and celery, as well as chips if you'd like to splurge a bit. Now, I was hesitant at first because it calls for canned chicken (similar to Tuna) and also Greek yogurt. Trust me, and just go for it. Everyone who likes spicy food loved it, and it's not overbearingly hot either. It was gone before 10:30.













This is a pic of my Skinny Taco Dip perfection:

Now, the recipe calls for olives and tomatoes, but I hate both with a passion, so I didn't add them. It also calls for one cup of shredded reduced-fat Cheddar Cheese, and I died laughing after reading that because it was literally *this* much cheese. So, I added about half more of the bag, because let's face it, cheese makes the world go round. It really does. But this recipe tastes just as good as any other full-fat Taco Dip, but only costs you about 60 calories per serving. It was practically gone before the ball dropped. Definite winner.









Winner of the Best New Years Eve 2012 Moment: My cousin Lisa. I had just poured myself a cup of Diet Icy Tea (Clover Farms trumps all) and ice, and came back into the dining room, only to hear Lisa go, "Kayla! I thought you said on your blog that you were doing all water this week!" and I was like "Yeah, well one drink on New Years--" and she goes, "But your blog said 'even on New Years especially' or something like that" and at this point, the entire room chimed in, so I gave my tea to my sister, and went back out and got water with lemon. (No one tested it for Vodka....just kidding, for those of you who don't know, I don't really drink, so that'll never be an issue). But anyway. That moment describes perfectly why I started this blog in the first place. To hold myself accountable to other people and not just myself. To have others watching out for me, to hold me at an expectation that I now have to rise up and meet.

When I write my next post, I'll be in Orlando! Harry Potter World! Excitement! I need to at least allow myself one frozen Butterbeer in the park, but just because it's vacation, doesn't mean that I have to go on a food-frenzy. I'm there to enjoy myself, to walk a lot, to laugh with Aunt Dee, Tammy, and Khrystyna, play games, see the Hogwarts castle, hopefully take a picture with a Despicable Me minion ("Whaaaaat?")...I'm not there to eat a bag of chips back at the timeshare while we watch a movie, or eat something fried by Splash Mountain.

Feel free to comment below or email me at ksta729@yahoo.com! Thanks so much for tuning in, I'll probably be posting once or twice a week. I'll get around to the Support-themed post shortly. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and stick to those resolutions!